Renewal of Vows
Saying it again, with everything you have learned since.
People renew their vows for all sorts of reasons. A round number anniversary. An illness that came and went. A wedding that was rushed, or small, or held during a lockdown with six people and a laptop propped on a chair.
Some couples want a room full of family. Others want six people on a beach and lunch afterwards. Both are worth doing properly.
Fig. 03 Renewal of Vows
Why couples do it
The first time round, most people are saying words they hope will turn out to be true. Twenty years later you are saying words you know are true, and that is a very different thing to stand up and admit in front of your children.
- A significant anniversary, from the first to the sixtieth
- A wedding day that did not go the way you wanted, or that you barely remember
- Coming out the other side of illness, grief or a hard few years
- A blended family who want to mark the point where they became one household
- A marriage abroad that the family at home never got to see
- No particular reason at all, beyond wanting to
What tends to happen on the day
A renewal usually runs about half an hour. We look back at the story properly, including the unglamorous parts, because that is where the good material is. There are often new promises, written with the benefit of hindsight and a bit of humour.
Children, grandchildren and old friends can all be given a part. I have had a granddaughter carry the rings in a jam jar and a best man read out the same speech he gave in 1994, with corrections.
“We got married in a register office in twenty minutes flat in 1998. This time we did it properly, in the garden, with all four grandchildren shouting.”
Marie and TonySilver anniversary, Cheddar
- A relaxed planning meeting, in person or on video
- A ceremony written around your story, not a template with your names dropped in
- Help writing new promises, together or separately
- Readings, music suggestions and coaching for anyone reading on the day
- A part for children and grandchildren if you want one
- A PA system where the space needs it
- A bound copy of the ceremony afterwards