Words that sound like you
Weddings, namings, funerals and everything in between. Written from scratch, held wherever you like, and never read off a card you have seen a hundred times before.
I am Joe, and I write ceremonies for a living
There is a version of this job where somebody turns up in a smart coat, reads twelve minutes of borrowed sentences and drives off. That is not what I do.
I sit down with you first. I ask how you met, what you row about, which reading made your mum cry at your sister's wedding, or what your dad used to shout at the television on a Saturday. Then I go away and write something that belongs to you and nobody else.
Some ceremonies I lead are for two hundred people in a marquee. Some are for four of us in a back garden with a dog wandering through. Both get the same care.
Joe Joe Bloggs, Independent Celebrant
What I can do for you
Every one of these is written from a blank page after we have met and talked properly.
Weddings
A ceremony written around the two of you, held wherever you want it, with the words you actually want said.
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Funerals & Celebrations of Life
A service that sounds like the person it is for, whether that means hymns, silence, or a football chant at the end.
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Renewal of Vows
For an anniversary, a milestone, or simply because you got through something difficult and want to say so out loud.
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Baby Naming Ceremonies
A welcome for a new child, with promises from the people who will help raise them and no religion unless you want it.
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LGBTQIA+
Every ceremony I write, written for you. No assumptions about who wears what, who walks in with whom, or what you call each other.
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Adult Naming & Rite of Passage
For a new name, a coming of age, or the point where one chapter closes and the next one starts.
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Pet Ceremonies & Blessings
A proper goodbye for an animal who was family, or a welcome for a new one. Held at home, in the garden, or on the walk they loved.
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Toastmaster Services
Somebody to run the day so that you do not have to. Formal with the red coat, or relaxed and barely noticed.
Read moreFour things I will always do
Meet you properly
In your kitchen, in a pub garden, or on a video call if you live the other end of the country. Long enough to get past the small talk.
Write every word myself
No templates, no filling in the blanks. You see the full script well before the day and you can change any part of it.
Answer the phone
If you have a question at nine on a Sunday evening because you cannot sleep, ring me. That is part of what you are paying for.
Keep my nerve
Rain, late guests, a microphone that dies, a toddler who wants a word. Nine years in, very little unsettles me.
From first phone call to the day itself
Nothing about this needs to be complicated. Here is the whole thing, start to finish.
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01
A conversation
A phone call or a coffee. You tell me what you are thinking, I tell you how I work and what it costs. There is no charge for this and no pressure at the end of it.
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02
The planning meeting
Two hours or so, usually at your kitchen table. This is the nosy part, and it is where the ceremony really comes from.
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03
The first draft
I send you the full script. You mark it up, cross things out, send it back. We do that as many times as it takes until it reads right to you.
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04
The rehearsal
Optional, and worth it. A walk through at the venue, or over the phone with anyone who is reading, so nobody is guessing on the day.
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05
The day
I arrive early, sort out the sound, calm the nervous ones, and keep everything to time. You get a bound copy of the words afterwards.
What people said afterwards
Somerset, and a good way beyond it
Most of my ceremonies happen within an hour of Wells, but I have led them in a field in Devon, a National Trust courtyard in Wiltshire and a front room in Bristol.
If you are further out, ask anyway. If the diary allows it and the drive is sensible, I will come.
- Wells
- Glastonbury
- Shepton Mallet
- Frome
- Street
- Bath
- Bruton
- Castle Cary
- Cheddar
- Yeovil